Does anyone really know what their life purpose is? Is it ever a stagnant purpose?
I feel like I’ve always been hunting for my purpose, trying to find what fits, what makes a difference in the world. And today, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that our purpose changes. God uses us where he needs us when he needs us. There are seasons of our life where our purpose may be one thing and another season where that totally shifts.
I started a bible study at my church a few weeks ago and today’s meeting is what helped me come to the realization that our purpose can shift. At the beginning of the study I even wrote in one of the margins of the workbook, “where do I fit in the bigger picture?” And today after our video lecture I got together in a small group with 2 other ladies and they helped me reach the conclusion that right now I am fulfilling my life’s purpose.
Our study is based on the book “Who Turned Off My Brain?” by Dr. Caroline Leaf. And in this week’s video lecture she touched on the stress that we put our children under and how the stress hormones affect their organs, their growth hormones, and their ability to cope with stress later in life. She focuses on the needs of kids and how they just need to be played with, loved on and made to feel safe and secure.
So when we were asked to get in groups I paired up with a couple of ladies sitting nearby – both in very different seasons of life from me and from each other. One woman is a grandma and she spoke to our group about how hard it is to hear these things and look back and see all the things she had done wrong while raising her kids, all the ways she could’ve done better if only she would’ve known some of the information she is learning now.
The other woman is a working mother of two children, ages 7 and 9. Her husband works two jobs and they have a small hobby farm with goats, chickens and ducks. She was in tears expressing to our group how she carries this guilt around because she doesn’t get to spend enough time with her kids. She works 3 days a week and her mother-in-law helps on those days but on the days she’s home she’s getting the kids to school, preparing snacks/dinner for when they get home, rushing them to karate and piano, fighting to get them to do homework, feeding them again since they ate dinner at 4:00, making sure they get showered, and into bed at a decent hour. She cried as she said, “my son asked me, ‘Mommy, why can’t you play with me? Please, Mommy, please.'” And she replies to her son, “Honey, I have to get ready for work too, or I have to get dinner ready, or I have to take care of the laundry.”
My eyes welled up with tears and I’m not quite sure if it was because I was so sad for her son to have to beg for her time, sad for her to not have the time or grateful to the point of tears that I get to be home with my twins. It was likely a combinaion of emotions.
I believe that God makes us hear the things we need to hear. And I needed these ladies today. They gave me a perspective like never before. They helped me see that I am so blessed to be living my life’s purpose right now. I am playing with my babies daily, I am feeding them all of their meals, and I am surrounding them with love and security. Right now, they are my life’s purpose. They are the legacy we will leave behind. They are the disciples that will carry God’s love into the next generation. There is no better time than now for me to pouring into them as He intended me to. There are so many days that I feel guilty for not being able to contribute financially to my family, but today I felt so at peace with where we are. And in a world where so many want to ask, “when are you going back to work?” I am so satisfied to answer, “whenever it is time for me to go back”. God’s plan is higher than mine, and as long as He makes me feel like I’m right where I need to be… I’ll be here… where He needs me most.